Grief: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Life is made up of opposites that balance each other: Yin and Yang; dark and the light; up and down; cold and hot; (grief) fear and love.
As I wrote, I was experiencing deep grief. My grief was not just from the loss of my father, but from the deep loss of our beloved kitty Rudy, who left a hole in our hearts and home. Please continue reading because this is not a story to make you feel sad, but one of hope, deep love and beautiful messages from Rudy.
I hate grief! I have been here many times before for both humans and animals that I love. Each time that I have experienced grief it has been different. No two feel alike and they can each bring up past grief. Why? Why is there grief? Who invented it? It seems so cruel. I don’t know if that can be answered, but I did receive something from Rudy that has been a great comfort for me.
Rudy was a survivor and a lover of life.
A message that he gave me right after he transitioned from his physical body was “Live life. Survive!” You see Rudy is a survivor.
I met him in the summer 2012, when he was living behind the dumpster at my father’s assisted living facility. He was starving, but so filled with joy. He loved humans. Rudy said that he survived despite all the odds and look what happened. The last five years of his life were paradise. He said that if he had not survived, he would not have experienced his life with us. We never know what is just around the corner, so live and survive.
As I sat in meditation with him in the days right after he died, my heart was broken into pieces, shattered at best. I received a message from him that I felt in my body and visualized in my minds eye. I wish I had the talent to draw and animate, but hopefully you will be able to visualize the following for yourself.
In a moment of deep sobbing I was stopped cold. Oh, thank you for that! I felt something in my heart and then Rudy showed me. This is what I “saw”.
Imagine your hands in prayer position or Gassho. Your united hands represent a heart (and kind of looks like an upside down heart).
I brought my hands down in front of me so fingers were no longer pointing up to the heavens but out and away from my heart center. Then I was shown to open my hands from prayer position to look like an opened book. That represented my broken heart but it also represents an open heart. My heart was cracked wide open.
What is inside of the heart? Love!
Inside the heart shell is a jewel called love.
I “saw” a gel like substance inside both halves of the heart shell that glowed a neon blue color. That substance was love, the love we feel for the one that has died and is now in spirit.
I saw my shattered heart pieces everywhere. Inside or on top of each piece was the glowing blue substance that is unconditional love.
Grief will fade but LOVE never dies!
Rudy showed me that when grief and love come together, we are forever changed.
When our heart is open from grief, our heart is also open to love.
To feel this kind of love is to know our true selves and to know pure unconditional love. To hurt this deeply, we have loved that deeply.